Hmm, its like 2.06am now. I felt like posting, but dk what to post, but in the end i still post. Laughs, i know its nonsense. :x No one would read this post for sure. As i'd mia from blog for sososo long. Hmm, i'm like super tired, but i still did not want to sleep. Idk why, LOL. ):
I viewed the archives. Realized how wrong was i in the past. I treated you for granted, seriously. Retribution, yeah. Sigh. I tried letting go, but i couldn't. Letting go isn't forgetting you. I did not want to trouble or pester you anymore. But everytime im trying, you'd appear at the wrong time, stopping me. I disliked this feeling. Its like, i can't get close to you, neither can i leave you. Tell me what should i do. You said you cared for me, sometimes even myself's wondering, do you still like me. But i dare not carry high hopes, cause i would fall deeper, i know. Now my mind's full of you, fuck it. Love isn't our thing. Sigh, cause we didn't know what both of us really want. We're guessing. I only know, if i hadn't treat you the way i did in the past, perhaps it wouldn't lead till now. I know, no point crying over spilled milk. Regrets, but what's the point, too late now isn't it. I know you wouldn't see this post. But i wanna wish here, I hope to get you back. Im afraid to love you, cause you would disregard my love. I missed how times were spent together, I missed the day you almost knocked into an aunty because of waving to me, i missed the day you sent me home the first time, i missed the day we went Uncle Ringo, i missed the day we had Valentines, you said its your first Valentines, i missed the day we got caught by my parents, i missed the day we went out together, i missed the day you'd catch every 18 we saw, i missed the days you would come my house, i missed the day you stayed over, i missed how we communicate when you stayed over and you slept on the floor just to talk to me from outside to my room, i missed how you steal kisses, i missed your singings, i missed the day you pulled me away from her, i missed the sense of security you gave me, i missed how you held me in your arms, i missed the memories spent together, lastly, 18th, i missed the OLD you.
I suddenly hated sweet talks, when its not from you.
With luvz.
@ 10:33 AM
Sigh. Something big happened today. Yeah, i didn't went to school. I've half regretted & half didn't. If i went to school, i wouldn't have heard what i did not wish to hear at all. But if i didn't went to school, i wouldn't have the time to accompany him. Yeah, im beating around the bush, idk what im talking now. I wanna remain everything the same, im not changing anything. I know someday, we would still be back together, right? I wished.
Perhaps, our love wasn't strong enough to give you confidence in me & yourself. Perhaps, to you this was the best solution, but it wasn't to me. Perhaps, you think that leaving me would not hurt me, but you're wrong. Extremely wrong. Till now, i then realised how important you are to me, but its too late, isn't it. Nothing can change anything now. You're gone from me, & you won't come back anymore. Its always like this, whenever im serious about it, its gone. Because of you, I trust the word 'Forever'. Because of you, i learnt the word 'Love'. You entered my life, stole my heart, & leave me bleeding inside. I'll wait for you, i swear.
My heart's crying. (U)
With luvz.
@ 8:45 AM
